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16 People Who Will Never Get Laid

November 9, 2010

As a part of my new “GET THE HELL OFF OF YOUR LAZY ASS AND BLOG” effort, I wanted to attempt to give a “theme” of sorts for every day of the week (along with regular important news posts with my ever-so-clever commentary) to keep things interesting, constant, and to encourage everyone who visits (and yes, I know you visit me. Don’t lie) to jump in and have fun. I can’t say that I’ll be “ON THE BALL” 100% at first, but here’s a start.

Monday. We all hate them. (If you don’t, you’re irregular. The rest of us hate Mondays.) So, I wanted to make Mondays interesting in the land of hahayouredead. I’m going to call Mondays “Maniacal Mondays”.

Maniacal laughter. If you don’t burst out into maniacal laughter after seeing the images I’m about to post — then chances are, you are one of these 16 people who will never get laid that are featured in this post. πŸ˜‰ Yes. Everyone else is all laughing maniacally at you.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 16 PEOPLE WHO WILL NEVER GET LAID

…Seriously, pal… I could FART a better tattoo design than this. Wait a minute — YOU got this tattoo at the Flea Market, didn’t you? Don’t lie to us.

Didn’t the pissant (Shepard Fairey?) who originally create this image almost get sued because he used an Associated Press photograph as his “guide”? Either way, this is just grotesque. You fail at life.

At least this one has a more accurate skin-tone for BHussein. He looks like a black person when a black person has a BHussein tat… when we ALL know that he is most certainly not a black man.



Just another typical white person. Who is going to look very stupid when he’s 20.

BILL COSBY!! Oh… it’s… fetal-alcohol-Obama.

“POLLS CLOSED”. Yep. So are the legs of every woman you encounter throughout the rest of your lifetime.

Sniper dots?!

It ALMOST doesn’t look like Jim Varney. KnoWhutIMean?

The only part of this image that even RESEMBLES Obama is the mole. It certainly isn’t the flat-skull, or the small ears.

I see a bunch of blurs, ugly, smears, unclear lines, and the words “President is Black”. Unfortunately, the current resident of the White House is not black, and that is not an image of Obama anyway.

Doesn’t that hand sign mean “Asshole”?Β  In believe we change. That’s right.

Yeah. That there is one… wicked bad… no.

At least she can bite it. And hide it. As long as her mouth is duct-taped shut, she actually might have a chance at getting laid. Aside from that, who can REALLY see an inside-the-lip-tattoo when there’s a dong stuffed in her piehole, anyway?

This looks like an image straight out of one of those colouring books that try to look realistic, but fail. EPICALLY fail. These colouring books are usually found in waiting rooms such as at the Doctor’s office…Perhaps a public school.

I’d *facepalm*, too brotha. Is the red around that image irritation from fresh ink or did you get it coloured to represent Communism? Also, if that’s supposed to be Obama, you got the pigment ALL wrong. He is MUCH too dark in your tattoo.




And there you have it, folks. Forgot where I originally found this, but it’s still for the LULZ.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. November 9, 2010 3:16 am

    Just a wild guess, but you’re not a fan of our President, are you?

    • November 9, 2010 3:18 am

      No… No, I can’t say that I am.

      Well, I could say that I am, but that would make me a liar. πŸ˜‰

  2. November 9, 2010 4:02 pm


    kudos you are NO liar. noh8 why are you fan of BHO/Lucifer? Please do tell. That is what happened in 08….we were put on the spot to explain why we were no fan of his…and did not ask why are you a fan? Had we done that then this narcissistic, incompetent, race baiting, ill tempered moron would have only been a blip on history instead of sitting in the Whitehouse looking down his nose at America and Americans.

    • November 9, 2010 4:22 pm

      I’m a HORRIBLE liar. That’s why I never do it.

      Well, little white lies when necessary… like if my Sister or my Mom asks you “do these jeans make me look fat” — and they DO… I better TRY MY BEST to lie. πŸ˜› “No.. uh.. they.. uh.. make you… not… look… uhm… uh… fat…” (When I try to lie, I fumble with words and “uh uh uh” and shift my eyes. It’s a mess. but at least it keeps me honest.)

      It’s simple for those of us who dislike Bammy to list several DOZEN reasons why, and they are all legitimate reasons. Those who support him come up with the daintiest, most pathetic reasons. “I like hope, and like, change, because, like, I hope that change means hope.” or “He’s black.”

      Wrong. He’s not black. Try again.

  3. November 9, 2010 4:03 pm

    Why do they need to get laid…BHO/Lucifer is screwing them every day…in every way!

  4. Sarah Baram permalink
    November 11, 2010 2:23 pm

    I’m not a huge believer in tattoos of people’s faces. They’re weird. But those? Well…. most of them are just plain creepy.

    • November 11, 2010 2:27 pm

      They are kind of weird. Some of them can be pulled off; but that’s a rarity. I’m a HUGE fan of tattoos (got a handful of them myself… heh) but I won’t get into detail on what they are. πŸ˜‰ Because chances are, someone would list me on THEIR blog as “Xnumber of people who will never get laid”…;)

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