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Gore Technologies!

February 28, 2010

Fishleg sent this to me and I almost forgot about it. Oh man.

New Products From Gore Technologies!

Source: Feed Your ADHD

In a statement issued from his new estate in southern France, Chateau d’Gorcicle, climate genius Al Gore has revealed new directives in his battle to combat mankind’s greatest enemy — Global Warming.

These directives propose a revolutionary change to the way the world will manufacture leisure products, taking advantage of global warming trends without increasing mankind’s carbon footprint…


" Whew! Honey! More iced tea please! I'm roasting in here!"

That’s what you’ll be saying to your spouse as she lovingly hands you another cold, frosty glass of your favorite beverage while you relax in your new Gore Technologies™ carbon neutral jacuzzi! Global rising temperatures will bake your cares away without wasting a single kilowatt!

Nothing beats the heat as you unwind from a hard day at work!

And who knows? Maybe the little lady will join you for a relaxing dip once the kids are in bed! Oh you naughty guys! But don’t worry, we won’t be able to see a thing, and you won’t want to escape from your jacuzzi after just a few minutes!


Imagine this: you are on your patio, basking in the sun on your brand new lawn furniture. Your neighbor will be “green” with envy as you enjoy a refreshing beverage on your eco-friendly chaise lounge fashioned by Mother Gaia herself! You’ll love your Gore Technologies™ lawn furniture so much, you’ll find it almost impossible to pry yourself loose!


Hard bank shot got you worried? Game on the line? No Sweat! You’ll be cool as a c-c-c-cucumber showing off your stuff on this Global Warming inspired creation from Gore Technologies™! The carbon neutral pool table! Rack ’em up!

Stay with us as the genius of Al Gore brings the world new innovations for a carbon neutral lifestyle!

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