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Robert Gibbs: Best stand- up comic

August 31, 2009

What do you mean he’s not a stand up comic.
Uh huh…
Right..
But but but He goes up.. gives his routine… and I laugh and laugh and laugh. I thought what I just watched was a comedy sketch.

HE’S REALLY THE PRESS SECRETARY?!

Oh my God. You’re tricking me.
YOU’RE NOT?
OH my GOD…

Wait – War on TERROR?

But IIIIIIIIIII thought…

White House: ‘War on terrorism’ is over
‘Jihadists’ and ‘global war’ no longer acceptable terms

It’s official. The U.S. is no longer engaged in a “war on terrorism.” Neither is it fighting “jihadists” or in a “global war.”

President Obama’s top homeland security and counterterrorism official took all three terms off the table of acceptable words inside the White House during a speech Thursday at the Center for Strategic and International Studies, a Washington think tank.

“The President does not describe this as a ‘war on terrorism,'” said John Brennan, head of the White House homeland security office, who outlined a “new way of seeing” the fight against terrorism.

The only terminology that Mr. Brennan said the administration is using is that the U.S. is “at war with al Qaeda.

We are at war with al Qaeda,” he said. “We are at war with its violent extremist allies who seek to carry on al Qaeda’s murderous agenda.

(visit link to read more)

Now… I know the current occupant of the White House isn’t the smartest pickle in the jar, so he might need a bit of help on this. Now follow me here, this is important:

Definitions of terrorism:
noun: the calculated use of violence (or threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear.

Okay… So… with THAT in mind:

al Qaeda “The Base.” An international terrorist group founded in approximately 1989 and dedicated to opposing non-Islamic governments with force and violence. One of the principal goals of Al Qaeda was to drive the United States armed forces out of the Saudi Arabian peninsula and Somalia by violence. Currently wanted for several terrorist attacks, including those on the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania as well as the first and second World Trade Center bombings, the attack on the Pentagon.

Still following?

Good. Let me break it down for you. AL-QAEDA = TERRORISTS. WE ARE AT WAR WITH AL-QAEDA. AL-QAEDA=TERRORISTS. WE ARE AT WAR WITH TERRORISTS. INVOLVED IN ACTS OF TERRORISM. WE ARE AT FUCKING WAR WITH TERRORISTS. WE ARE IN A WAR AGAINST TERROR. GOT IT?

So, yes, perhaps Robert Gibbs finally FINALLY got it. FINALLY. But I’m sure once his boss gets wind – it’ll just be a little “misspeak”. An oopsiedoodle

I can’t dumb it down for you ANY more than that. Sorry, that’s as SIMPLE as it gets.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Fishleg permalink
    September 1, 2009 12:18 pm

    Sooo…you’re saying we ARE at war with terrorists?
    Next week Gibbsy will swear he did not say that.

    See you all in DC on the 12th!

    • September 1, 2009 12:45 pm

      Gibbs is the biggest moron I have EVER seen. EVER. Well, maybe next to Biden – but Biden has brain damage.

  2. steve permalink
    September 1, 2009 3:02 pm

    Gibbs is an idiot! Obama is a fraud…perhaps folks should be reminded of the ‘war on terror’. Today being the 5 year anniversary of this:

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