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DangerB’s Joke Time. Featuring Nancy Pelosi.

July 28, 2009

Plastic Surgery Tax Eyed As Revenue Raiser
Article: National Journal

Face-lifts, tummy tucks and hair transplants could be hit with a new tax to help finance the trillion-dollar healthcare overhaul plan, according to sources familiar with the Senate talks.

The Senate Finance Committee has discussed imposing a 10 percent excise tax on cosmetic surgery deemed unnecessary for medical purposes. The idea was broached in a meeting with OMB Director Orszag in mid-July, after which Senate Finance Chairman Max Baucus told reporters he had heard some “interesting,” “creative,” and “kind of fun” ideas.

The tax, which has not been officially scored, would plug some of the revenue gap senators are seeking to fill to keep on schedule for a markup the week of Aug. 3. It would target procedures prohibited under Section 213 of the tax code, which deals with itemized deductions for medical expenses not covered by health insurance….

Nancy Pelosi went into her plastic surgeon’s office for her weekly face-lift. Her plastic surgeon, noticing how frequently she came in for the same procedure decided she would be a perfect candidate to test a new procedure he had been working on.

“Mrs Pelosi, would you be willing to be the guinea pig for a trial run on a NEW procedure? It will save you a lot of money – and you wouldn’t have to make your weekly trip here, freeing up your schedule quite a bit.” he said.

“What kind of procedure are you talking about?” Mrs. Pelosi inquired

“Well, ma’am – what I’m going to do is install a knob on the back of your head. It’s tiny, so no one will be able to see it through your hair. What you do is – when you notice your skin starting to sag – you give the knob a little twist. The skin will tighten right up. It’s painless and completely convenient.”

Nancy Pelosi thought about it for a moment – and decided to give it a go. The doctor successfully installed the knob on the back of her head.

“Go ahead, Mrs. Pelosi – give it a try”.

Nancy Pelosi reached to the back of her head and felt around for the little knob. She was surprised at how tiny it was. She took a deep breath and gave her new knob a twist. The skin on her face instantly tightened. She was beyond thrilled.

“Wow, Doctor! I can’t believe how convenient this is! I barely even notice the knob on the back of my head!”

Nancy left the doctor’s office – completely satisfied. Every week – she gave the knob a little turn – and with each twist, her skin tightened. This went on for several weeks. Nancy Pelosi became obsessed with this new knob. She couldn’t twist it enough. Several weeks later she notices that she had these huge bags under her eyes… she twisted the knob several times hoping to get rid of the bags. No matter how many times she turned the knob – she couldn’t get rid of these huge bags. Concerned, she phoned her doctor and made an appointment to have the bags under her eyes looked at.

“Doctor, I have NO idea why these bags have formed under my eyes! I twist and twist and twist the knob – and they NEVER go away! What’s causing these bags?!”

“Well Mrs. Pelosi… Turns out – you’ve twisted the knob way too many times. You’ve pulled your skin WAY too tight – Those aren’t bags… those are your BREASTS!”

“Oh…” said Nancy Pelosi “Then that certainly explains this goatee.”

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. steve permalink
    July 28, 2009 2:45 pm

    Bwah ha haaaa haaaaa!!! Two thumbs up! Good one DangerB! It would be tough to top that one!

    • July 28, 2009 6:10 pm

      Haha. Times like these – sometimes all we need is a good laugh.

      • Mountain Republic permalink
        July 28, 2009 8:02 pm

        DangerB, that is truly a classic!! I think you need to make “DangerB’s Joke Time” a regular feature. Just look at all the material you have to work with! Man, that’s too funny!

  2. July 28, 2009 8:06 pm

    Haha. They just make it TOO easy. I swear. 😉

  3. July 29, 2009 5:00 pm

    That was to funny. Just what we need once in a while.
    Bob A.

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